Tag Archives: NSV

Hoop De Do!!!

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So yesterday I was feeling mighty crummy.  Between my fibro, and my ehlers-danlos I don’t want to move.  Work stress isn’t making my life any easier, I can only imagine that some of the pain in my shoulders and back is due to the “weight” upon my shoulders which included coming into work to fix a crisis over the weekend.  I received much thanks from my customer for my efforts, however not even a thanks from my boss.  :/ Makes me feel like crap, makes me wish I didn’t care so much, but that is who I am.  The shipment I worked on after my bedtime on Saturday night was something near and dear to my heart, and I would not change what I did.  I just wish I could feel better.

My weight continues to fluctuate right around 300 pounds.  I am not happy with it.  The option of surgery lingers in my mind, lingers as a last resort, teases me with its simplicity, I would finally know for sure hunger.  I do what I need to do, and the progress is slow, I would SEE progress with surgery.  However I truck along on the bumpy path where I fight to find satisfaction.  I know I can do anything, you can do anything.  There are answers out there for all of us.

Yesterday was set to be one of my gym days, with my chronic pain I fight to keep a set schedule, I made myself go to the gym with the intention to just soak for a short while.  I wanted/needed the heat to try to get the muscles in my body to relax.  I put my headphones on and sunk into the hottub for just a little while.  The heat is dangerous for my E-D.  It makes my joints more lax and prone to injury.  So I took my whole time slow.  While getting dressed I saw a woman with the shiniest pretty hula-hoop! If you know me, you know I love glitter and sparkles.  I joke that I am a five-year old kid, but in every joke there is a grain of truth. I am a grown up kid.  Do you remember my post about why we have to workout instead of play?

I commented on how much I liked the look of the hoop to my fellow locker room woman, and she told me she makes them.  It was like fate had taken hold and pushed me into the gym yesterday because even though I didn’t work out, I met someone amazing!

I would like to introduce you all to someone amazing!  Her name is Theresa she blogs over at <a href=”http://hoopwoman.wordpress.com/”&gt; Hoop Woman She is a motivational speaker!  She is a Hooper!  I have been intrigued by hooping for a long time but I think I am just too big to hoop.  In my mind I have the Your Momma jokes in my mind about a hulahoop being a belt.  I think about my size 32/34 pants and how big I was and how far I have come and think… someday I want to try it.

We chatted a bit about all kinds of things and Oh My Goodness, Theresa is Amazing and we seem to have very similar outlooks on so many things!  Turns out she is a Ted Talks speaker!  She showed me some of her hoop skills, and I was amazed.  If you have some time please check out her talk! http://youtu.be/OgZVRV7jqWc

I left the gym feeling like I had been put there by the universe for a reason.  A reminder that I just need to keep going, that just like I tell everyone else not to give up, I must not give up.  I keep pressing forward to be amazing, to do amazing things.  I am on the right path, it just takes time for things to get into the right places.

I am a puzzle cube, you have to keep turning the puzzle around, sliding pieces back and forth, rotating the puzzle, trying things, and eventually the answer becomes clear, but you cant just give up or nothing will ever become of it.

I get it universe.  Thanks for the reminder… and thanks for the new friend!

 

Just Keep Swimming, Walking, Jumping, Playing!,

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I invite you to climb into the way back machine with me for a moment. Crank it all the way back to your childhood. Remember those awesome school lunches, whether it was mom or dad packing you your very favorite lunch, be it peanut butter and jelly or a ham sandwich. What was the very best memory of school? Was it math class, or science? I was partial to dissections myself so science for sure, but many people think back to recess! I never really enjoyed it, the fat kid that sat alone and had no friends, was not picked last because that would require participation and there was no participation… But that’s not what this is about.
At some point in our lifetime we go from having playtime and recess to having to go workout. Why do you suppose that is? This morning I went to the gym and had a great time. I did my normal 45 mins of water walking/jogging that I had been doing, and was fully prepared to do more as my body allowed but instead found myself with a few friends playing an impromptu game of water volleyball. Now that being said I have exactly ZERO hand eye coordination. I was super hesitant to even join in at all, but with a little bit of coaxing I had what was quite possibly the most fun at a workout ever!
Laughing at the ball flying backwards, getting splashed in the face, chasing people around the vortex pool. We had become a group of grown up kids and it was pretty awesome!
I would have never even thought to play ball ever, let along engage in this activity in a public setting where anyone could see me. I am so grateful to have such awesome people in my life that help me to step out of my comfort zone and push me to do things that I think I can’t do.
Laughter heard the soul, smiles light up the room, and friends lift you to unimaginable heights. I am thankful to have had adult recess today at the pool, today I did not workout, today I played, and I cannot wait to go play again soon! Remember it isn’t about how much you can do, it is about doing something, anything, to get moving.
So what do you do to play? I don’t think that going to the gym and getting on the dreadmill sounds like fun, are any of you on a sports team? Bowling soccer kickball? Do any adults still play?

Day from Hell in Survival Mode.

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So Last week I had a day from hell… if I had to pick a day where I was on a path for a disaster of derailment, Thursday would have been it.  I was swamped at work all day.  I had a workout scheduled on the books.  I was tired by the end of the day.  Worn out, and just so ready to call it a day.  I got in my car and headed the opposite direction from my house.

There are several ways I can go to get to the gym from my office and I knew if I went past my house, I would be on auto-pilot and just go home.  Looking back at the day, the self care involved in going to the pool was likely the best thing for me after the day I had already had… but I would have liked the events that followed to have not occurred.

I completed my workout, which included a little bit of jogging with the current in the pool.  I am after-all slowly training to walk a 5k, and I would love to not be last! Anyway the workouts are going ok, although I need to think about saving for some kind of waterproof mp3 player.  I got to the parking lot, approached my car and started slipping on the ice.   I fell most of the way to the ground grabbed the handle to my car-door to stop me from completely slamming into the ground full-impact, my phone bounced out of my pocket and fell to the ground and you guessed it. Shattered the screen.  I wasn’t far from Best Buy, who I have my phone protection plan from, so I went there, which meant I wasn’t on schedule for dinner and bed.  After waiting at Best Buy they told me if I needed the data (the 180+ photos off my phone) I would have to go home and back it up.  So i sadly walked to my car, grumpy hormonal and emotional.  I got to my car, being extra careful not to slip again… I look at my tire and see something shiny.

There was a screw in my tire.  FUCK! I pushed on the tire it was still, as far as I could tell, fully inflated.  I drove the opposite direction from home to Costco where I bought the tires.  They told me it would be 1.5 to 2 hours to get my tire fixed.  At this point I was in toddler-meltdown mode.  I said fine, just fix it.  I grabbed a cart and started wandering the store hungry and crying.

Sample ladies… sampling bananas foster trifle.  Oh lord help me.  I walked past, and I walked past again.  She was just across from the cuties.  I grabbed a bag, and a cooked chicken, and a container of blueberries.  I cried as I walked.  I put the chicken back knowing I wouldn’t eat the whole thing before it went bad this late in the week.  I grabbed some cooked shrimp with cocktail sauce you get an insane amount of shrimp for a low number of points on Weight Watchers.  I was trying to keep my head about me.  I sampled a small cube of Tillamook cheddar cheese and my phone rang.  More bad news, the tire center has now broken the stud on my wheel. FUCK ME! They tell me about 10 more mins and my car will be ready to go.  I just start crying again.

I don’t even want to check out at this point.  I just want to leave my cart and go home.  I grab some allergy meds, and a box of the Fiber One chocolate chip cookie brownies that they finally started carrying (they carried the brownies, but not the chocolate chip cookie kind before) and headed for the registers.  Small talk with the cashier ended with him being extremely happy his day was better than mine.  I was to the point where my small talk gene was just shot.

I went and got my car and wanted nothing more than junk food.  I had not really had that much to eat during the day, I could have grabbed a burger or something.  I drove home, passing a crap-ton of fast food places.   Including on the last few blocks, just before my house, a Burger King and a McDonald’s.  I kept telling myself You do not really want those things, you are working toward being healthy, this is stress induced.  You do not need to eat a burger just because it is quick.  You owe it to yourself to take the time to sit and eat your food.

I got home and sat down on my bed and cried.  Took my medicine for the pain that was growing in my neck and back, and I went to the kitchen.  I weighed out my shrimp, 6 ounces worth, I grabbed some fruit, and a skinny cow chocolate bar.  I sat quietly, and just wallowed in all the bad shit that had happened.  I wallowed in the jury duty notice I had gotten the day before.  I cried over all the shitty stuff that happened that day, and then I tried to find the good things that happened.

1.) The day was over, I was about to crawl into my warm bed

2.) I had insurance on my cellphone, even though I had broken it, it would not cost me anything to get it fixed.

3.)The tire that had a screw in it was not flat when I found it, however if I had not found it, it could have/would have been flat at 3:30 am the next morning when I went to go to work and I’d have been late and had to change it in the snow.

4.)I stayed in control of what I ate despite a bad situation where I would have and could have easily just grabbed a pizza or burger before.

5.)I stuck to my plans to workout.

So I slept through the night, mostly.  I woke up Friday, and greeted the new day for what it was a new day.  I tried singing to my coffee syrup.  I went into the day with a positive attitude, it was a rough day too, but it was one day.  I continue to babystep my way along.  Proud that I survived a shitty day.

Gaining… a foothold.

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So here I sit, it is almost 5am.  My neck and back are sore, my body aches, but we are coming to an understanding.  Since Saturday I have been to the gym (well including Saturday) 4 times.  I have had FOUR 45 minute water walking sessions in the vortex pool.  This isn’t just regular water walking, this is against the current.  One of them I have had company for, one I had the pool all to myself for.  I find myself mostly just counting my steps to about 110 then realizing I am just counting and then trying to focus on something else, and then find I am counting again.  It isn’t bad, it is just a thing.  Yesterday I focused hard on the things that are super difficult for me since the vortex was mostly empty for the 45 minutes I had available.  Walking backwards, with my pelvis/spine properly aligned, not hyper extending my knees, and with good posture.  I would do a few laps of that, then do some sideways focusing on trying to get my feet to orient the “normal” way.  My hips aren’t normal, and that contributes to some of my back issues.  It is all connected, and I can clearly see that with my body.  When the problems start below the percolate up, just as water drips through coffee grounds to make things change.

I already feel like I am regaining a bit of strength as I return to the water.  Perhaps it is all in my head, perhaps my body knows that I am not ready to give up this fight.  I have always done my best work in the water.  After all I could swim before I could walk (#Waterbabies4life!) The water was always good for my fibro, and its the safest place for my ehlers-danlos.  I am not going to rush myself onto land anytime soon.  While I feel pressures to try and workout with my friends, and make my workouts and schedules match theirs, I know that this isn’t about anyone but me.  I have to do what works for me, for my schedule, I live a crazy life, it is hard.  The more I flex my schedule the harder it is on my body and I can’t do that.  I can’t keep up. This is my reality.

I am grateful this week that I finally got to have dinner with a friend whom I had not sat down to talk with since last January.  He and I went out to dinner at Matt’s Bar.  (Home of the not diet friendly JucyLucy!) A Burger stuffed with cheese! I counted my points all day long, and I did just fine.  The burger was awesome, the company made it even better.  I laughed, I nearly cried, nothing shot out of noses, not even boogers THANK GOD! We are going to try and work on a more frequent than once a year catch-up session.  (I can only hope for this, as hard as it is to see some of my friends, this guy is the hardest one to nail down it seems!)

So I feel like this week so far has been a success, I am getting the swing of things and moving forward with my progress back into the swing of exercise.  I do have a 5k walk on the books for July.  I signed up for the Minneapolis Color Run, I plan to walk it, as we discovered running is quite possibly the worst thing for me.  (Maybe speed walking?)  I wanted a goal on the books, other than the obesity 5k in April with Gary from Charities Challenge. So yep, that’s where things stand!

Happy Thursday! :)

 

Choices

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Do you ever feel trapped?  Like you will forever be fat? Destined to live the eternal life as the fat friend in the photos, the big one in your family, the one that never truly keeps the weight off? 

Do you ever feel like it doesn’t matter what you do it always remains the same?  Yep, that s where I have been lately.  Playing mini pity-party.  Looking at the picture, and thinking I have no choices it is be fat or be fat.  Truly we always have a choice.  Be fat and happy or be fat and miserable. Be fat and work to change things you don’t like, or be fat and work to make things worse. 

As I sat last night on the recumbent bike riding, being miserable, I thought about change.  I thought about the passion I used to have for working out.  I thought about my love for water aerobics, and my desire to outlast everyone in the gym on the elliptical.  Where had it gone.  My new job had killed the old me, or rather, the new me that came with this job had become complacent when I changed gyms. 

See the SNAP fitness I joined turned out to not be right for me.  It was more of a weight lifting gym, and I STILL don’t know how to use machines, not to mention it was more free weights than machines.  The arc trainer, which I tried so hard to enjoy, turned out to be more of an enduring thing.  The pain it caused in my hip was just not worth the price of admission.  I never built a community there, and I found myself doing things like taking walks around the lake for exercise to avoid going to the gym. Not that that’s a bad alternative but it isn’t truly exercise in the same way.

So as I said a few days ago on twitter, don’t mess with what works.  I have gone back to the YWCA in Minneapolis.  Just off Lake Street.  I have been everyday since I joined.  My schedule, with as many hours as I work, doesn’t allow me to workout like I once did, so burnout shouldn’t creep in as fast, but I know it will… because I have been complacent in my workout. 

Those choices I talked about not having, I had, and I made them… I made the choice to go home right after work, get in my jammies, cook dinner and be a lazy ass.  I admit I made bad choices and they have led me to gain some weight back.  I am not happy about it but I am the first to admit it.  My pants are tight, and it is uncomfortable.  I don’t like it.  Everyday after work I am heading to the gym.  45 mins is my compromise, I don’t have to like it I just have to do it.  I can spend those 45 mins however I like, on a bike, on an elliptical on the treadmill… sitting in the sauna if I really want to waste my own time. but I have to go. 

I thought about making Saturday morning optional, and it might be, after a while, bodies need a rest day, but breaking routine isn’t a good thing, but I get to go in the morning.  I think I might try Zumba Saturdays there is a class that looks like it might work with my schedule, and it might be fun, but I am totally uncoordinated, and if not I still should get in and do something.  This past weekend I got in.  Then Sundays are my Water Aerobics class!!! YAY!!! Back in the water again… where I belong, with my cohorts.  I went this Sunday and it was like being home.  The water caressed my skin and eased my pain. 

I was sorrowful for the time I had been away from it, but not for long, I jumped right back to my old self in class, enjoying banter with the other ladies, and catching up with the teacher.  It was a nice time, it was good to be back, and that Sunday Morning ritual should be an easy one to keep.

So I made the choice, to go back to something that worked, even if it isn’t quite in the same manner that it was.  I had to remind myself that there is always a choice, even if you don’t like the choices that are there.  Once you make that choice, you get new choices, and deciding not to decide is indeed a decision on its own, and not really a good decision. 

So back at it I go… again.

#c25k Cult

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So for those that have followed my blog for a while you remember the launch of the pack, we tag on twitter as #f2fpack now, back in the day we were the #priorfatpack.  We did a 5k together back on Memorial Day… it was a long time ago.

Prior to memorial day I had started to train with a #c25k app on my iPod to get ready for the 5k run.  I pushed so hard to try to get ready for that run and my body just wasn’t having any parts of it.  I went back to training again after that 5k and pushed for the Fathers Day 5k… and again my body rejected my advances.  Every time I pushed to try to move past week 3 my body was shutting down.

On this journey I have learned many things.  One of which is I don’t quit things anymore.  So once again I started pushing myself through the #c25k starting again with week 3.  Guess what?  I have been making progress!  Not only have I made it through week 3, I passed through week 4 and I am working the week 5 program right now!  Thursday morning will be my first “no walk” day.  20 minutes are on tap.  It would be a lie if I said I am not scared of that run.  I mean, the though of twenty minutes of running is terrifying!  I guess I just need to make sure I have some good music loaded up and that I don’t watch the clock.  I think that has been the biggest positive thing lately, not watching the clock as I run my intervals.  That and remembering to puff on my albuterol before I go to the gym, without that stuff I am in trouble.

I hadn’t really looked ahead in the #c25k program to see what was coming up so finding out I had a 20 minute run this week came as a bit of a shock!  Up until now most of the weeks had been the same intervals over and over again… for well weeks at a time… I redid week three so many times… SO MANY times.  There is nothing wrong with repeating weeks is what I am told.  There is no set rules for how this works.

At this point I have given myself over to the program.  It almost feels a bit like a cult.  I don’t ask why things are the way they are, I accept the program the way it is.  I know that there are reasons why I have a 20 minute run Thursday and then Sunday’s run will be intervals again.  Why ask why?  When I tweeted about the run and mildly questioning the run I did hear that many training programs have longer workouts one day and then it backs off the next.  I also was told that this is the turning point of the program… this is where you find out that you can run.  Well I figured that out last week when I ran my mile!

I have an upcoming 5k on the books, it isn’t the big Thanksgiving 5k through downtown Minneapolis I am planning to do the Charities Challenge Thanksgiving Day Giving Thanks 5k. I really am torn because I want to do both races.  I really would love to spend the morning with my friends downtown because I have never done a race there, however I know there are like 10,000 people signed up for that race and we won’t be sticking together, and I wouldn’t want to.  I never want to hold anyone back.  The CC group is just amazing, they celebrate everyone crossing the finish line because it is a goal just to finish for some of us.  I am so thankful for them this year so it is only appropriate that I spend Thanksgiving with them.

I will likely join CC for the Christmas and New Year run’s as well.  Nothing set in stone, finances will be a determining factor as will the weather and my overall health by then.  I am excited to be moving forward with my jogging though.  I am happy to be an actual athlete, or stating to feel like one.  Slowly, one step at a time I am changeing, creating my new self from the lump of clay I was given.

A Year in Blogging

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So I will make this short…

Today is the One Year Anniversary of my blog.

It is time to put on my big girl pants and keep working towards my goal. Wait… what was that? You want to see those big girl pants? Okay!

Keep working hard, being amazing and good things will happen! Remember that “The difference between where you are and where you want to be is your commitment to getting there.” ~Michael Clapier

That Thing No One Talks About

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So many of you have probably heard the best part about losing weight is getting a whole new wardrobe right? As a big girl lets face it, our selection of clothes was pretty slim.  It was the only thing slim, am I right?  The bigger you get, the fewer choices you have.  When I was topping out at 430-ish I was a 32/34W.  I don’t wish to offend anyone, but I was HUGE!

My jeans would cost more than $65.00 USD a pair.  Any normal person would need more than one pair right? So when one of those wore out, which they were prone to do fairly regularly it was expensive!  Getting tops that would fit was also a challenge.  This is why much of my wardrobe consisted of men’s pocket t-shirts.  They could be purchased fairly cheaply, were comfortable and practical.

As the weight has come off I have shrunk in sizes obviously.  However depending on how fast the weight is coming off keeping myself in clothes that make me look non-slovenly has proven to be a challenge.  There have been times when my pants have been two sizes too big!  I have shopped secondhand stores, but even those the larger sizes are often the fastest to fly off of the racks.

I am not ashamed to wear clothes someone else wore.  I know there are a lot of people who are turned off by the idea of hand me downs, or thrifting but honestly if you think about the cost to buy a new wardrobe every time you change size it get expensive.  I make purchases of key pieces that I need from places like Target and Old Navy but thankfully my friends have been so wonderful to pass on their old clothes to me.  I have gotten over my feeling guilty for saying yes when people offer me things.  My pants no longer cost $65.00 Unless I am trying to buy something fancy, they are more like $30.00 It is much more manageable, but is still an investment when you consider I am not planning on staying in this size forever.

So have you encountered this in losing weight?  Do people ask you how excited you are to get all new clothes?  I get asked all the time how much I like going shopping for all new clothes, and I just say the new clothes are awesome because they really are.  I love shopping in my friends closets, I just hope they don’t grow to resent me for taking their old stuff and not being able to pass them anything in return.  Do you have any tips for saving money while changing sizes?  Do you have a favorite thrift store find that you would like to tell me about?  I would love to hear about it!  :)

Riding the High

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So Thursday was AMAZING!  I think it was quite possibly one of the proudest moments of my entire life!  I talked to my parents and told them about my accomplishment because you know what… I got bragging rights from that run!  My dad had always struggled with his weight, he was heavy as a kid, and for a bit of his early adult life.  He was SO PROUD of me.  He has become a great cheerleader for me during this weightloss and healthiness journey.  When I was young there was a lot of picking on me due to my weight problems and I know he didn’t realize just how bad it hurt me.  Our relationship is being repaired.  He told me that he has never in his entire life been able to run a mile.

Dad was always, in my opinion, the more fit of my parents growing up.  Yes he struggled with his weight, he had been near 200 pounds for as long as I can remember, but he did things like go hunting in the mountains.  That meant he had to “be in shape”.  Not in that “round is a shape” way.  We had a treadmill, he used it.  He had a gym membership, and he used it.  Mom exercised too, she would swim laps while she went to night school, but I never really thought of her as active.  Her job keep and kept her sedentary.  So when I told them both about my accomplishment I really felt amazing when they both told me that they had never in their lives run a mile.

I felt like an athlete.  I woke up wanting to go back and run again, but I resisted the urge because I know I need to hold off and wait to see how my body responds.  It is sometimes so difficult for me to walk the line.  I want so much to push my body, push it until it breaks and I vomit in the gym like you see, or don’t see on The Biggest Loser.  I know that because of things like my fibromyalgia, and my ehlers-danlos I need to respect my body even more than normal.  I know watching friends recover from injuries and how long it takes healthy active normal people to recover that an injury to me could be a potential disaster!  So I strive to create balance.

So Friday begins my crazy work schedule and my next formal workout won’t be until Sunday… when I head back to the gym for another #c25k run.  I am excited to try week 5.  I wont lie, there is a part of me even now that is still scared to try week 5, even though I just did this amazing thing the thought of those intervals and the potential to not do it scares me.

I will be squeezing in two sessions of Just Dance or Just Dance 2 in on the Wii during Friday and Saturday as workouts since my gym isn’t available 24/7.  I also need to make a shopping list and pick meals for the next week.  I am setting myself up for success any way I can.  #NoExcuses That mile reminded me that I really am making progress, even if I can’t see it all the time.

Have you done any amazing things lately?  Surprised yourself?  Got any suggestions for my dinners this week?  Let me hear it!

Today I am a Runner

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Yes, just last night I sat at a table with Jen, a priorfatgirl and said I was not a runner.  Today my tune has changed.  No I have not yet completed c25k.  I did clear a hurdle which I never completed before though.  I finished week 4!  I did all three days of it!!! Freakin AMAZEBALLS!!!! I mean, let’s be honest here for a moment, holy flippin cow!

As I drove to the gym this morning I was nervous.  I didn’t have nervous tummy or anything but the nerves of my impending run were starting to weigh on my mind.  I told myself I had done this run twice before and it was no big deal.  I was sadly the FOURTH person checked in at the gym this morning.  Such a slacker.  I signed up for my machine and away I went.

As I got to my last interval I reached for my dumbphone… as in not smart phone I sent the saved text that it was my last interval for the set and I knew I was almost done.  I ran my little heart out thinking about how proud my family would be of how far I have come.  I thought about people in my lives who had passed away… sadly there has been a lot of death around my friends and I lately.  Perhaps it is the time of year, but as the woman on my app said One minute remaining I grinned knowing “I got this!”

The “cooldown” kicked in with the app, which I don’t generally do because I have more working out to do, and I looked out into the darkness of the morning to see rain falling from the sky dancing in the lights of the parking lot.  It felt like those raindrops were full of emotion for me.  A release, a gift from above to remind me to keep going.  After about 90 seconds of walk… I hit the 1.5 mile mark on the treadmill and I did the self inventory and at that moment I knew it was time.

I sped the treadmill back up to my “run” speed.  Now with my short little legs my maintainable run speed is 3.6.  I can sprint at 4.2, but running is 3.6… so I keyed 3.6 and hit enter…. and away I went. #c25k counted down and finished itself off and I figured it grooving to my tunes, feeling the rhythm in my body and I ran.

I let my feet pound of the deck of the treadmill planning only to run until I was tired of running or my body was ready to give up.  Then it happened… that thing… that only seems to happen to other people.  I didn’t stop running at .1 or .25  when .5 came around the emotions started welling up inside of me.  (in fact I am getting a little emotional right now!) My body was ready to be pushed, ready for a challenge.  I kept running and I ran the entire mile.  That is right… I RAN A MILE!!! Today I became that person.

As I neared that last tenth of a mile I have to admit I started to get scared, mostly because I was doing it.  I wasn’t too tired, I felt like I could do more.  I wanted to push myself farther.  However I am bad about knowing my limits at times and I don’t want to overdo it.  I also was feeling fearful that once I stopped I would never be able to do it again.  What if this was a fluke?  What if I can never run again?

I left the gym and wanted to call and text everyone I know!  I wanted to text Ann and tell her right away because she has really been behind my running since before I did my first 5k but I didn’t want to wake her up… but this morning really changed something inside me.  I can feel it.

Today I became a runner.