So Sunday in my house is the one day that I am not on call for work. It is usually a day spent being domestic. Sometimes it is a cuddlefest with movies and takeout, sometimes it is filled with visiting family, usually it is my weekly trip to the grocery store. Sunday I wake up and grab paper and a pen and write-up a list of dinners for the week. Usually it is 6 dinners. We keep one wildcard night as a make something with whatever is left in the house, or a “they had good bread at the local shop” night. It works for us, our food budget shrinks by an AMAZING amount when we plan ahead.
So when I go to the store I try to shop for only the things on my list. I make my list based off of the things that are already in my pantry so I am not doubling up on things we don’t need. This is great, we plan meals around stuff we already have in the house. For example when I score the buy one get one pork tenderloin one of those goes into the freezer for a later meal.
Since I moved to Minnesota I never really knew anyone here. So my time at the store I usually just keep my head down and get what I need without much thought. So Imagine my surprise when I get home Sunday from a trip to Target and see a Tweet from Ann. Apparently she saw me at Target! (And didn’t say hi, if you see me feel free to say hi! this goes for anyone, come say hi, please!) Anyway, my first thought of sheer panic was OMG, did she see what was in my cart?!
Do you judge others by what is in their carts? I know I do, and I shouldn’t. That being said the guy with 10 frozen pizzas a pack of burritos and a case of Mountain Dew screams college guy to me. The middle-aged woman with the pizza rolls, lean cuisine, and Peanut Butter and Jelly in her cart screams Mom to me. So what did my cart scream? Well… There is two sections to my shopping cart, the part of the cart that I eat, and the part that I buy for Robb.
My groceries consist of things like tuna single serve packets, tomatoes, mushrooms, Chobani champions yogurt, minute rice, spinach, eggs and Arnold sandwich thins. Items that are in my cart that I do not consume included Doritos, and bun length all beef hotdogs.
So then I worry that I will be judged, which is part of a battle I have had my whole life within myself, because I have junk in my cart. I talk myself off the proverbial ledge then I wonder if I was doing something awkward or embarrassing in the store. I always worry about inane things.
This shame goes back as long as I can remember. I can recall a time when I was 16… I stopped at the grocery store on my way home from the pool I was feeling good about myself I bought some fresh fruits and veggies for the next few days and as I walked across the lot to my car, which I had parked a decent distance away a car full of kids I went to school with drove through the lot and yelled my name and started mooing at me. Yep, real mature. I flipped them the bird and got to my car before I started crying. Why was I ashamed? I had made good choices, oh because I bought food. I used to pick up takeout for my ex and I. He would want 2-triple burgers from Wendy’s I would DIE if I had to order that in one order. I would go through the drive thru and get one, then park in the lot next to the place and walk over and get the other. Who was I kidding? Myself of course, but I am sure they thought they were for me. They were not.
I am working on my food shame. I don’t hide my food anymore, well not from anyone besides myself. I found a white chocolate candy bar in the cabinet today that I had forgotten was there I hid it so well! I make my food hard to get to but Robb is welcome to it. My LaraBars are in a see-thru box on the counter so I don’t forget about them, my Popchips are in a see-thru box on top of the microwave. I don’t buy things and not tell Robb about them. If I buy it/bring it into the house it is fair game for anyone to eat.
So as I grow, and shrink, I think maybe the next time I see someone with 7 pizzas I will try not to think about that being dinner for a week. Maybe they are throwing a party
But I swear… Cool Ranch Doritos are doing nothing for me!