One Month Later… the missing posts.

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It’s been a month since I last posted… It feels… distant. I keep saying to those around me I need to blog. I need to write, I need to let my mind be free to wander even if there isn’t anything to be said. There is lots to be said. I feel… a world of difference. I need to put this in writing somewhere so that I remember that I need to eat like this to feel better. While I don’t know what the scale is actually doing right now… I weighted myself right at the beginning of the switch I have hidden it away as to not stress over what this change was going to do to me.

I am now dairy and gluten free. about 99.9% of the time. I occasionally am indulging in a small amount of whey protein to boost my protein content, but no lactose, no cheese, no milk, no butter, no yogurt. No wheat, no gluten. for those that know me, this is a major shift to my eating. I sustained myself on yogurt and cheese for a good portion of my adult life. My fridge was a dairy lovers dream. Butter, cream, yogurts, cheeses in fact, there is still string cheese, and a few other cheeses sitting in my fridge waiting to hit the bin. The gluten thing, well… I am not someone that has ever been a super huge bread lover, or a pasta fiend so that has been the easier portion of things.

The most difficult challenge has been navigating menu’s, which is easily solved by just eating at home, or bringing my own food places. (I did this for Thanksgiving again this year and was confident in my decision. BYOF is the only way I will be doing holidays at other peoples houses from now on.) I am teaching Robb about how to shop for things that I can eat, obviously the product section is a safe place to pick things up for me in, and the dairy case is in general a place to avoid, along with most of the center isles. I laugh and tell him if it is labeled Gluten Free and Vegan it is likely safe for me to eat, but then we have to check for things that I have food allergies to like walnuts.

Years ago I saw a doctor for my fibromyalgia that suggested I give up gluten, this was during the same time i was seeing a weight loss doctor that was trying to save my life (when I was still close to 400 pounds). I was so overwhelmed at that time I knew I could not do both. I could not even think about trying to do one more thing while trying to track calories and do everything else. … I still cant think about it actually… So right now I am working on trying to find a balance with g/f d/f and losing weight. Finding ways to prepare food that I like to eat in ways that work.

As i said earlier I am feeling better, my clothes *i think* are fitting better. My sinuses are for the first time in forever running clear, and not running, until I am around the office dog, and a few other dogs, it seems to be selective and environmental then get all stuffed up, so progress is being made. I would love to be able to go six months without a round of antibiotics.

I am really doing my best to stay dedicated to this change, it is hard! I really miss my yogurt. I have tried a lot of the substitutes out there, almond, soy, coconut and none of them have been what I am looking for. I have for the most part tried not to just substitute for things with this change. I have tried to move outside the box and find new foods, and break patterns of eating to try and wake my body up so to speak. I wasn’t about to break tradition and go without stuffing for thanksgiving and did buy some GF DF bread and make stuffing, but I had a few plans for that if I wasn’t able to find something suitable, making it with roasted veggies as the base.

So yeah, that’s where i am at right now, it is the busy season at work… we are a company that operates 24/7/365 so as you can imagine this only exacerbates during the holidays. It’s great to see things coming to life, and I am enjoying the challenges this position brings to me, but I am looking forward to it slowing down a bit so that I can resume a life that involves the gym a little more. I am ready to get back to the grind… I have signed myself up for a series of 10 races in 2014 where I determine my distance plus I have 2 half marathons (that I plan to do in parts) to knock out. There are big things about to happen in my life… it’s time for this girl to earn some more stripes.

Happy Holidays Everyone! May you be warm and safe and find comfort and joy
with those that mean the most to you!

The Saga Continues

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So when last we checked in with my eating habits I told you all I was doing Nutrisystem. I shared some photos of my food, and a few short words about the cuisine. Sadly you wont be seeing anything further about that program here, at least not for a while. I have had to throw in the towel. It isn’t because the program doesn’t work, because it did, I was losing weight, the food was edible. I still have some left in my freezer, and a box on the shelf, that I will likely give to my friends that expressed an interest in the program. What I have left is the leftovers from my last order the was stuff I really liked and a few things that I was on the fence about.

So why am I changing again? I mean honestly all this blog seems to be anymore is “I am not making progress, I am trying this, it didn’t work lets try something else. Whine, Complain, Restart” but at least I have the tenacity to keep trying. This time it is a medically motivated switch. I am still trying to combat a sinus infection, there is a chance that this is the very same infection I have had since November, having never fully cleared out… there is also a chance this is a new one… meaning I didn’t even make it 3 months without a new sinus infection… and 2 weeks of antibiotics didn’t clear it up the first time.

I am embarking on trying to eliminate as much wheat and dairy from my diet as possible… heading towards possibly ending up dairy free and wheat free. As the girl who is affectionately known as the YogurtGuru by her friends, being able to tell you which yogurts are on sale at what markets for how much on any given week, and the benefits of yogurt, also the differences between types this hurts to the core. I may venture to Whole Foods this weekend during my shopping and check out what kinds of dairy free yogurt they have. I miss my Yogurt, however I have been trying not to just make substitutions. I have been trying to make actual behavioral and food changes with this. I gave up caffeine a few weeks ago, and my first though was, I’ll just start drinking decaf coffee everyday. Instead I switched to a 3liter water bottle that goes to work with me every morning. I will indulge in a decaf coffee but not a large, and not everyday, no more than once a week. I am trying to focus on eating protein, organic/natural carbs (by organic/natural I mean things like veggies and fruit not “organic” as in how it’s grown but not processed from a box. I had a bit of rice today, and I had a small biscuit yesterday but that was it as far as non vegetable carbs for the week. I am trying not to be too strict with myself.

I just want to feel better, I need to stop being sick all the time so that I can start working on my fitness level again. I feel my body becoming weaker as time moves on. I know that I am still getting a bit of a workout by helping pull parts and load trucks at work however it isn’t the same and I don’t feel as good when I am not working out. It’s all a balance and a puzzle. So I am sliding the pieces around again… not happy to be giving up my beloved dairy. Perhaps it won’t be forever… If i can get my body back into fighting form I will feel better. Then again, if eating this way makes me feel better then maybe, just maybe this will be what my body craves.
So thats it from where I sit…
Never give up… never surrender!

Behold the Power of Seeds!

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Watermelon season is coming to a close, autumn is rolling into Minnesota. The leaves are changing colors, starting to fall some trees are even bare already! The colors that used to be so bright and vibrant at the farmers market have become shades of tan, brown and orange. Fall is arriving. I am sad to see my Farmers market close date nearing, my Saturday ritual of going and seeing my regular vendors, and meeting new ones will soon end. Sharing my knowledge with them and learning from them as well will be put into storage with my shorts until next year.

Out come the pumpkin spiced everythings, the autumn smells linger in the air. This draws me back to the roots of indoor shopping. I don’t spend as much time in grocery stores during summer months as I do in the winter. The produce, while of quality, just isn’t as flavorful as the stuff I get from the farmers themelves. I made a trip recently to Costco for some things and was SUPER THRILLED to spot one of my favorite treats there.

Do you remember me doing a giveaway a while back for Somersault Snacks? The delightful sunflower seed snack that I discovered at a local, expensive, grocery store? Anyway Costco is now carrying these in “Costco size bags”… this smells like disaster right? The awful bag of doom syndrome? Actually because these have as much protein as a serving of almonds, with about half the fat (and fewer calories) I find myself satisfied with a serving and able to just shut the bag even without having to portion them out!

To my delight this awesome product, that I adore and share at many bring a dish or item to share parties, has gone mainstream it seems. The team over at Somersault contacted me last week to let me know that their products are now not only available at Costco but also available at Target!!! Hello Target, my love, my obsession. I live in Minnesota, the land of 10,000 (lakes) Targets. This is awesome news for me! Why do I like bringing this as an item to share? How about the fact that they are NUT FREE and the cinnamon crunch ones (my favorite ones) are VEGAN, contain NO ARTIFICIAL SWEETNERS and are DAIRY FREE (ok I like to serve them with a goat cheese at parties but still)! For those that are concerned about GMO’s the product is also certified NON-GMO.

There is so much stuff in the news about antioxidants being so important for your body, and fat being a key building block for your body, well this has the good fats! Seeds of all kinds might just be the key to unlocking what our bodies need! As many readers know I have some inflammatory conditions, among other things and it is being shown that sunflower seeds are carrying anti-inflammatory properties, as well as something that calms the muscles!! How cool is that! Have you ever craved something? As a kid I would chow down on bags of sunflower seeds, you know the bags of the salted kind in the shell. Spitting the shells into the woods or wherever in our big grassy lawn. In my office now the guys chew seeds and spit into old bottles. I wonder what their bodies are craving, because no one can have an open bag of seeds without sharing, and the same goes for when I bring out the Somersaults! Everyone loves them!

There truly is a flavor for every taste Pacific Sea Salt is probably the most neutral of them all… Salty Pepper reminds me of the Salt and Pepper Potato chips I fell in love with on the east coast. I have never found a suitable replacement here in the midwest (and thats perfectly ok!!). There is the zesty Santa Fe Salsa which is a great topping (or at least I think so ) for a salad. Then there are what I like to call the dessert gems… the Dutch Cocoa, which is great if you love chocolate, and the gem of the bunch, the first one I ever tried, the one I love… their newest flavor the Cinnamon Crunch. It is the perfect amount of sweet and savory to dance and flip on your tounge!

Have you ever heard of Somersaults? I had seen them at Caribou Coffee many times before I actually tried them… I didn’t know what they were, and I was scared to try them. They come in a variety of sizes, and if you’re afraid of that big costco sized pack, or even the multi-serving bags in general Target is selling multi packs so you won’t even have to portion them out yourself! Just grab and go!

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I keep some in my desk, I keep some in my car, I keep some in my purse… I have eaten them at the movies, on the phone, waiting for the doctor when they were a few hours behind. They keep for months! So I encourage you to go out and try them… I also encourage you to leave a comment on this post if you have or haven’t tried this awesome product… because you just might receive an email from me, I do like to share afterall!!

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#WYCWYC

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Do what you can where you are, with what you have, and do it where you are. -Theodore Roosevelt.

Roni (our fearless Fitbloggin leader) started a hashtag project #WYCWYC it is short for What you can, when you can. I had a post sitting in my “trunk” for a while about this subject but I have since tossed all my trunk posts in the trash. I don’t want to be that person, I don’t want to churn out canned posts. I want to be raw and honest with you.

Thursday my dear friend Mel sent me the Theodore Roosevelt quote from the top of this post, which is actually the starting line from the post I threw away. She sent it to me as I sat at the hospital again. … yep again… I am still fighting with my body. It cannot seem to decide to fight for itself. Turns out I still have my sinus infection. … The one that caused me to lose my voice, the one I still went to work with, the one I took 14 days of antibiotics for. Yep. That one.

Last weekend I missed a baby shower and a wedding (both of which really upset me, I had made a commitment to my friend Meredith to be her personal attendant and morning of my throat had a golfball in it!) My body is fighting me. I got up, showered, dressed, went to the farmers market like I do, did #wycwyc and tried to have a normal day. Turns out… that had to be good enough for me.

Thursday they ran a CT on me, and prescribed some new drugs. I asked the doctor what I can do as far as activity since my body is fighting the infection I should’t be pushing too hard, and he said slow activity, talk about a blow to my system. I just feel so stuck and so much like I can’t get ahead. I feel like all my progress has been for nothing… so much hard work, fough for tooth and nail, blood and tears for every inch and it is being torn from me by my own body that isn’t strong enough or smart enough to fight for itself.

…

…and then in another breath I remind myself WYCWYC… I am in a better place than I was at this time in 2009. I can do so much more than I could at this time in 2009. Everything talked time. It is not a sprint, it is not a race, there is not finish line. There are ups downs left and right turns in this. The path leads backwards forwards and you are going to end up running in circles more than once… it is how it happens, sorry kiddo, but that is how it is.

I need to be kinder to myself, I need to work more on what I CAN do, and what I have done. This week despite not feeling at my best I ran around our warehouse scanning pallets, throwing totes of magazines, helping load trucks, pulling parts because things needed to be done. I am able to get things done now because I am healthier, I CAN do this because I grabbed onto hope.

I need to find hope again. I am waiting for results from my CT as scary things roll around my head. The what if’s of my know-too-much from reading all those medical books plug up my brain. I have reached out for help, and reassurance that it isn’t those horrible things, but we never know until answers come in. Too many unknowns make me fear the worst, too much information is as bad as too little.

So I am aiming to find my WYCWYC moments everyday. Even if it is things like parking further away that I already to, it is doing it, and giving credit for it.

So yeah, Do what you can… because if you can’t do it… you can’t! ;)

Staycation Recovery

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So I spent the weekend indulging in treats I don’t usually have. Steak dinners, ice cream (custard actually), a breakfast burrito with bacon and avocado, and I wonder (ok not really) why I am craving carbs and sugar the last two days. Ok not really. Combined with hormones and bad nutrition I set myself up for this.
It doesn’t happen often, and it was a wonderful weekend. Nothing like celebrating all the things that make and made my life here awesome. A small impromptu breakfast with a few friends on Saturday after my 10k, which turned out to be 6.7 miles once I cooled down. A nice romantic dinner out on Saturday night. A movie at a theater I had never been to on Sunday morning, followed by a fun afternoon of silliness at MOA and a night relaxing at the Radisson Blue. (Talk about swanky!)
I am so exhausted right now, sheer reliance on caffeine is what is keeping me upright at my desk. I feel like I need a vacation to recover from my staycation. Crazy right?

Either way here I am… I had a nice weekend… but I am ready to get back into a focused mindset.

Oh here are my two fave photos from the weekend…
WonderWoman10k

Anniversary9Years

8 Years.

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*looks around*

Time sure does fly. It is strange to be in the pilots seat of ones own life. Whether we believe that we each control our lives or not destiny or chance, choice, free will it’s not up for debate here. I am in the pilots seat of my life.

…

Scary.

This weekend marks 8 years since I moved here. Eight years of struggle to find my way into the drivers seat, trying to steer this thing called life onto the road I want it on. I suppose as long as I am heading somewhat in the direction I want to go I am ahead of the game… Right? Keep it between the navigational beacons as it were.

I look upon this weekend as a celebration of how much my life has changed since I moved here. A way to rekindle my life, the fire of passion I had for my relationships, the budding start of a new life. The world of unknown. I am actually working on branching out into a new life. Looking for new opportunity to test my limits, find my strengths and see what is out there for me. I long for a change.

I will find it… I found a home here, I stumbled into the drivers seat, managed to right the out of control car I was in and it has only just begun!
Look out world because maybe just maybe the next 8 will bring me somewhere even more crazy!

Catching Zzz’s and the Fourth Meal!

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One of the things I neglected to post about yesterday was that among the things Cassie spoke about on Saturday was how crucial sleep is for each and every one of us. Especially for weight loss. As many of you know I work some pretty crazy hours, right? I get up at 0300 in the morning M-F and work 0400-1400 (meaning I am in the office at 0345, because I start on time, knowing what is going on and if my relief is on time I finish at 1400, rarely do I get my feet out the door of the office before 1415) this means I spend 10+ hours a day at work. How much time does this leave for the rest of my “life” In short, not much. I used to work nights, and I kept a crazy schedule, sleeping when everyone else in the world was awake… I used to have sleep apnea and slept, and even napped with my CPAP on. It didn’t take long for me to realize just how crucial sleep was in my life. Being behind the wheel for my job as a driver meant i could be putting others at risk if I was drowsy.

Did you know that sleep helps your immune system? Yep! Your body works to restore your body when you rest. Think about it, it makes so much sense right? All day long it has so many things to do to keep you functioning that when you finally sleep and rest it can take care of itself. So sleeping, and taking care of yourself, is truly letting your body take care of itself!

Sleep also regulates Leptin and Ghrelin which are the two hormones that regulate hunger and satiety. Cassie spoke about a common phenomenon that gave me a chuckle as I used to see it all the time when I worked nights. I call it the bar closing munchies. The longer you are awake the hungrier you get, and the less satisfied you are. Have you driven past a McDonalds at about 2:30 in the morning? Have you ever seen the line that extends around the building? Is everyone on the planet SO HUNGRY they can’t go home and make something, and they are never small orders… it is always several burgers, multiple orders of fries, junk garbage and crap. (no offence) You eat the food you would normally eat, plus extra, because you just aren’t satisfied. That’s the leptin and ghrelin being disrupted by being tired!
This is why I believe TacoBell has cornered the market on the “Fourth Meal” Cheap carb laden food that will carb bomb you into sleep. If you believe that it is the tryptophan in the turkey at thanksgiving dinner that makes you pass out, you would be mistaken. It is the stuffing, the potatoes, the rolls, the starchy corn, the ticking time bomb of carbohydrates sending your body into shock, nap needing mode. That “fourth meal” at TacoBell will do the same thing, fill your stomach up enough to make you “full” send you crashing out to sleep just long enough to wake up in the morning wondering why you did that to yourself.
I know when I am up late I find myself starting to get hungry, I look at the clock, often times it truly has been 8 hours or so since I last ate and my body might actually be telling me it is in need of something as time has slipped away from me. Other times, I have been consistent, had enough to sustain me and I can tell myself it is time for bed and I don’t need anything else. It is okay to be hungry.
Sleep helps the brain, it helps the body. Adults should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night, how much do you get? I have a bedtime… yes a 30-something adult with a bedtime. It sounds superlame right? My phone goes into Do Not Disturb mode at 1700 (5pm) meaning you can’t reach me by phone unless it’s an emergency. This is the time I get into bed. Yes it seems excessive, but I am one of those, I need a drink of water, oh I have to pee again people.
I get somewhere around 8-9 hours of sleep a night. I need it, my job is high-stress and super demanding on my brain. I can tell when I am not getting enough sleep because it starts to effect my work. I occasionally slack on getting my sleep and I pay for it for the next day or two. It’s usually the second day that is the kicker.
Being consistent with my sleep is the key. I vary a bit with my sleep on the weekends, staying up a bit later on Friday, but still getting 8-9 hours. It is just something I find valuable to me.
How about you? Is the only time you get the proper amount of sleep when you are sick? Do you think this might be an issue? Do you have a bedtime?