It’s Coming! The Wedding… It’s Coming!!!

So before I know it the wedding will soon be here… I am not stressing over it really… It dawned on me last week that there are a few loose ends that need tied up.  Things like place settings, and coffee cups, silverware and napkins to be ordered.  I could have made life easy on myself and just had the caterer supply them… but I like to make things difficult… Actually I just like to be cheap.

Getting married is expensive… and truly for Robb and I at the end of the big day all that matters is that we are married.  For myself what I want at the end of the day is for my friends to have celebrated with us.  A good breakfast with those that have helped form my family here, and those who were able to come from far away to celebrate with us makes for a wonderful day.

We are “simple folk” I am fairly certain that I will be wearing the dress I wore at Fitbloggin, the white and dark navy blue striped one.  Maybe with a shrug, maybe with a belt… who knows.  Robb might be in slacks and a polo… for all I care he can wear jeans. I joke about putting us in jeans and pocket t-shirts… it’s a half-hearted joke… but I am a bit serious.

Our invitations are half-stuffed… not yet addressed… it’s on my list of things to do… They will go out soon… and on them it says Jeans and T-shirts… sweatshirts encouraged. I do not want people in suits… they will get ruined at our venue.  We are truly going for family casual… not even down on the farm casual… like actual relax and just be yourself casual.

We want people to laugh, and remember that you only get one shot in life to be happy so don’t spend it being miserable.  Make the most of every moment you have.  No sad faces!!!

So yes… things have been ordered… I am sure trying to manage things I will forget something… but ya know what… if we forget something… there is a grocery store not far away and I can run off and grab whatever we need the day of!

 

A Walk in the Park…

Or the zoo as it were.  I was blessed today to be able to sneak out of work just a tiny bit early and head off for a much-needed walk.  I am still making a recovery from my Fitbloggin cold, but I am getting some activity in.  I went swimming at a new outdoor pool this week.  That was super fun! My eating has been on par, I am tracking and making good choices for REAL food.

So what did I see on my walk? Well, since I had a camera with you I’d love to show you!

There were beautiful flowers outside the Zoo (I didn’t make it to the conservancy portion of Como this time… there is never enough time at these places! I will have to go back!)
magentaflower purpleflower purplelotus

 

 

 

 

I wandered around all of the animal enclosures. Yes I feel bad that the animals are there… but you know what this is quite possibly the only way I am ever going to see things like a tiger, and a lion so I will take advantage of it.
flamingoYogaFlamingozebragiraffegiraffeeatLionsBathtimetigerscaredSpiderMonkeygorillaYogagorillagorillathoughtgorillalookorangatan

There are a TON more photos from my adventure, but you get the idea. I had a great time wandering around the Como Zoo alone this afternoon seeing the animals, smelling the popcorn enjoying the sights. I hadn’t been there in a while. I even had a chance to speak with the zoo keepers about yesterdays “gorilla escape”. It was a pretty awesome way to spend the afternoon.

Did you do anything fun? Do you have big weekend plans? I’d love to hear about them!

When #JustTrollin means #WycWyc

So today I arrived at my friend Jeans house for a pre-baby shower dinner party. I was early I had come from work. I didn’t know when she and others would be arriving.
Instead of sitting around in the car listening to podcasts or music I took to her quiet neighborhood and went for a walk. Yes I’ve still got the sniffles, no I wasn’t in workout clothes, no I didn’t know where I was going and didn’t plan on it. So what.
I had time and it wasn’t going to go to waste! No more sitting on my rear!! Get it in gear!!

Big Dreams for 33, and Food For Thought.

33… Yep, a double digit birthday. I am choosing to look at this birthday that has just come to pass as the birth of a positive year.  There are a lot of traditions and stigma about the number 33.  I believe (but am not sure so don’t quote me on it) that it is the Chinese that believe the number 33 and women are a bad mix.  There is some superstition about buying meat and chopping it?  What a waste if you aren’t going to eat it in my mind.

I am looking at 33 as holding extra possibilities for positive things to come my way this year.  33 when separated forms two prime numbers.  Two positive prime numbers.  I am welcoming the positive things into my life.  I spent my birthday setting a positive intention for myself, and for the future of others.  It can’t hurt right?

Thank you so much to everyone that wished me well for my birthday! It meant a lot to me that so many people from all over the world took a moment from their day to think of me and wish me well.  It lifted my spirits so high.  Thank you.

So I had planned on no cake for my birthday this year… and I mostly made it… mostly.  But the #JustTrollin side of me says it is time to fess up.  There was lots of cake… Sunday I made cake balls… actually Saturday and Sunday I made cake balls, but not for myself.  I made cake balls for a baby shower, and it was so much fun.  I sampled a bite of one.  That was enough.  There was also a very small Carvel ice cream cake that made its way into my house on Sunday night.  It was the smallest ice cream cake I have ever seen.  I only ever eat the vanilla ice cream off of those cakes so it was in the end a very successful birthday when it comes to food consumption.

I am working on putting together a training plan for myself this week.  With my epic sunburn still healing and my cold still in partial swing I have been a slacker at the gym.  I have been yelling at myself for not going already this week. Tonight I went to a new pool! Not a new gym… a new pool!

Bloomington PoolI confess… I love to swim… however I do not think that I have been swimming outside, since I was probably 16 or 17 years old.  Yep, I’ll wait while you do the math… yes, that would be somewhere in the neighborhood of 16 years of indoor only swimming.

Today I was brave.  I joined my friends Maria and Jean (and Jean’s son, my favorite little boy in the whole wide world Dexter) and went swimming after work!

imageI couldn’t get over how different it felt to be in the water outside in the sunshine.  Obviously I am a summer baby.  Mom tells me stories of how I could swim before I could walk… and how she spent the Fourth of July on a boat on the lake in a bikini because it was too hot for anything else and she just didn’t care what it looked like she was pregnant and uncomfortable.

I felt comfortable at the pool in my suit with my friends.  I jogged and bounced around in the water.  I swam around.  I soaked up some rays, carefully sunscreened 30 mins prior to going out in the sun this time.  I don’t need anymore nasty burns like the one I am still dealing with.

I can’t honestly wait to go back to the pool again.  I think this may have to become a supplement to my summer activity, and it might just be what I have been looking for to change up my summer routine.

Do you have a favorite activity that is different indoors than outdoors?  I know running has to be very different inside than outside, but I never thought swimming was all that different depending on the pools location.  This has been some great food for thought for me.

Feedback Because I’m Still #JustTrollin

So… Fitbloggin is over… back to the real world. Work, life, love, relationships, friendships, be them old or new everything in my life falls under the microscope when I return.  Every morsel that enters my field of vision is being scrutinized extra carefully.  THIS is honestly part of what I look forward to coming back from Fitbloggin.

At the conference so many of us talk about having out batteries “charged” or “recharged” I think of it as being supercharged… and with the creation of #justtrollin and #tribelove I hope that it will allow the charge to last just a bit longer.  I know it wont extend the selfie-shelf life or bring the warmth of the amazing hugs along with it but it might just keep the lazer focus.

Focus… something that I need.  I have heard from several people who read the blog in my offline life, that don’t comment (or rarely do so) that they feel the empowerment that is coming from this blog right now.  The trick is going to be keeping up with it.

I am SO THRILLED it seems that those around me that read my last #JustTrollin blog understood what was going on.  They understood that what I am asking for is to be called on the bull that is going on.  I want to be held accountable.  I don’t want to order something healthy then eat the fries off your plate and have you say, oh its okay… a bite wont hurt you.  I don’t want someone telling me you deserve a treat you worked out, or you need to treat yourself… I need someone reminding me that those things aren’t getting me closer to my goals.

It isn’t that I don’t know that the cupcake is not a great choice, even if it fits within the calorie or weight watchers plan for the day… but there are better choices. It isn’t that I can NEVER have the fries, but I need to be responsible for the decision to have them not take them off someone else’s plan. It seems like people are getting on board with this. Those that aren’t understanding this… well… your relationship with me may have to be put on lockdown… just like those treat days.

The thing about this blog is, since I took the job change that led to my weight gain I did nothing but bitch about what the problem was. I bitched about what I couldn’t get to work. I whined and complained that things were hard and I didn’t have time. Well you know what life is hard and we have changed the situation.

I am no longer in that job, and while I am starting to have progress I am still not giving 100% to what is actually one of my top priorities. I am okay with the fact that one of my priorities is to lose weight. I am okay being selfish in wanting to not be fat anymore… more than not wanting to be fat I just want to feel good. I want to feel “healthy”.

I don’t want my blog to be a reflection of a big whiner that just makes excuses. As Dan pointed out at the welcome mixer, I have a story. I have the confidence to overcome the obstacles that have been placed in my way over and over again. If I can’t go over them I have gone under, or around or even through them.

Why should my weight be any different… well the truth is it isn’t any different. I guess I am again calling myself out in this post for half assing too much of my life. The last two Saturdays I have broken some major walls down in my own active life as far as steps and actual amounts of activity go.

I plan on being active tomorrow, (July 5th) It is going to be hot, and gross, but Sunday (July 6th) is my birthday… I will be 33, and it is time to celebrate another year entering it strong and feeling empowered. The time to feel like a victim for my circumstances has come and gone.

I am leading by example, for myself, for my friends, and for the people who I don’t know. I will not end up a statistic. I will not be someone people have to mourn and miss because I died too young. The time is now.

 

 

FitBloggin14… The Short Short Version.

Sunrise in Savannah

“Minimize the regrets in your own life by doing everything with intention.”

Those words were the first of many pebbles of wisdom that rained down on me during Fitbloggin14.  They did not come from a fellow blogger, or sponsor.  They did not find their way into my mind from a yoda meditation or a workout… they came from my cab driver “Bunny Man” on my way to the hotel on Thursday shortly after landing in Savannah.

I wanted to recap my Fitbloggin post with #ALLTHEPHOTOS since last year I took a grand total of three photos… Sad right?  This year I took 400+ photos on Saturday with an SLR that are over on Flickr.  I like to think of these as my gift back to my Fitbloggin family.  So many people leave having not taken photos other than selfies.  I never got to complete the walk I started on Thursday (the beginning of that album) on Sunday due to just being drained of all my energy from lack of sleep.

I did however manage to be part of TONS of selfies!!! the proof is in the pudding….

FitBloggin Selfies Fitbloggin14 Selfies Fit Bloggin 2014 Selfies

Those photos are in no particular order… and I am sure I am missing a few photos there… it is so hard to wrap up so much amazingness with a nice neat little bow.  It just doesn’t happen.

Perhaps a highlight reel?

  • Nearly putting Alan through the glass doors in the lobby for a hug
  • Conga Line during ice breakers the first night
  • French Macaroons & Starbucks with Kenlie
  • MICKEY MOUSE in the HOUSE!!!
  • Yoga where I cried
  • Zumba where I cried
  • Tough Love where we established #JustTrollin and #TribeLove
  • Ignite- All of it, from Dre’s rap to Gerri sharing so much with us about Roni
  • Finding my Celery Stalker had been in my bed while I was out of the room!! #CrisperDrawerLove
  • JeffGalloway when I cried telling him about Margaret, and he just let me ramble on.
  • Discovering I don’t like pralines, but I do still love popcorn!
  • ALL THE HUGS
  • ALL THE SELFIES
  • ALL THE FRIENDS
  • ALL THE EVERYTHING!

I miss everyone… It was a rough journey getting back home from Savannah. Many tears were shed leaving the hotel. I am thankful Erin was willing to chat with the chatty cab driver because I wasn’t up for anything except holding everything inside.  DubyaWife, Erin and I encountered some plane trouble.  It made me miss my connection… I got the last open seat on the red eye back to Minneapolis… and barely made it onto that flight.  Erin ended up having to stay another night… but that is her story to tell.

I am already looking forward to Fitbloggin15, my eyes are on Denver. My goals are to me SMALLER, STRONGER, FITTER, and just as Fabulous by the time I see many of the people I met. I have plans to hopefully reconnect with several of my friends before a year has passed, as we all focus on living with intention and being more authentic in our intentions.

Start saving your dollars now… you wont want to miss out on Denver, I don’t want to be sending you a “wish you were” here postcard or linger in the sunrise sipping coffee thinking of you.

How I Re-Learned to AFWIW at FitBloggin

Sunrise in Savannah

Sunrise in Savannah

So I am going to skip past a Fitbloggin recap for a bit. I can do what I want, it’s my blog. For those that follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, you have already seen photos of me with celebrities like Mickey Mouse, Jeff Galloway, and Arian Foster.  You have seen the never ending stream of selfies with people that mean the world to me. The conference was amazing, I didn’t want to leave. For those outside the FitBloggin Community that want to see my Saturday photos you can check them out on my Flickr Album.  This post isn’t going to be about the fun. This post is about reality.

Fitbloggin Yoga

FitBloggin Yoga with Kia
Photo by CarrieD Photography

So it’s time to get real honest with myself, and you all. At Fitbloggin this year I showed up at the same weight as last year… maybe even a few pounds heavier. So… what gives? You have all heard me talk time and again over the last few years about my job.  Specifically now my former job.  I had gone from nearly 450 pounds to 250 pounds… that was before my first fitbloggin.  During my first Fitbloggin I was already in a slide.  An uncontrolled slide where my job was effecting my eating and exercise.  I had gone from spending hours a day in the gym, eating right and making myself a priority or working 10-12 hours a day, eating whatever I could shove into my mouth between phone calls, and not getting a break.  I would workout when it was convenient.

In March I steered away from the skid, applied the brakes after regaining what I claimed was about 50, but what was actually closer to 70 or 80 pounds of my weight. back.  I was no where near the 450 pounds that I once was but anyone with half a brain could see the writing on the wall. I was unhappy and needed to change.

I started making working out sort-of a priority in my life again, before work I would *try* to get to the gym three days a week.  I would *mostly* eat right, and by mostly I mean about 50/50 not 80/20. My body would hurt and I would let myself use it as an excuse. I just renewed my drivers license… and I what exactly what I did when I renewed it 4 years ago. Talk about a wake up call, I know I wasn’t standing still the last four years, but I sure wasn’t making progress.

FitBloggin TeamLast year when I was at Fitbloggin I was mostly a wallflower.  I didn’t speak to many people.  I was shy when introducing myself.  This year I walked up to people head held high and asked for what I wanted.  Whether it was a photo, or to join a table for lunch I felt more confident.  I was AFWIW (asking for what I wanted).

On Saturday I had a goal for myself… I wanted to hit 200% of my activity goal on my Polar Loop.  I knew my eating was going to be slightly off during the next few days.  I pushed myself through Yoga, which was at 0600, not really early, then through the Tough Love session… which I really needed. It’s what this post is actually about in the end.  Then it was onto Zumba.  I had no lunch plans for the day, and so I wandered along the river.  Right to the candy shop where I was picking up pralines for some friends back home.  I decided that ice cream was the best choice for lunch since I had done so much working out already.  I didn’t give it a second thought as I ordered a single scoop of peanut butter ice cream in a waffle cone.  I wandered along the river eating my ice cream looking at cars.

When I got back to the hotel all I could think was how glad I was no one saw me eating ice cream! This was a wake up call to myself… I wished I hadn’t eaten that ice cream… not only because the dairy made me all stuffy, but because it was  something that wasn’t a good choice for my goals.  My results are a direct correlation of my choices.  I brushed it off… but wished I had been the recipient of some #ToughLove from some friends there.

Polar Loop InterfaceWell the numbers don’t lie, this is a screenshot from my Polar Loop iPhone interface. The truth is you can’t out exercise your bad diet choices right?  I weigh in on Saturday morning to see how my trip went.  I have NEVER in my life had exercise look like that before.  In all honesty there is a part of me that knows I am going to have a gain coming out of vacation… not because I ate badly while at Fitbloggin… in fact the ice cream, and a few handfuls of popcorn late at night are probably the worst of any of my indulgences.

Why am I expecting a gain this week then?  Because I am now back home… and I can’t get back into my routine! I am sick, I caught the crud that Edith had during our time rooming together.  I just want to eat junk, like chicken fingers and fries, and rest.  My lung capacity is near nothing right now.  I mean, I am puffing albuterol every few hours right now, that’s legit… but the food. c’mon… fries, chicken fingers… NO. Just no.

How long is reasonable to nurse this sickness? …

AFWIW… Help me with a battleplan here! I need to fight! I need to be on track and stay on track… So Kris no more fucking around… no more, got it?! It has to stop unless you want to be 350,400,450 pounds again and feel like you are going to die. Remember how scared you were that no one would be able to carry your casket? Remember being afraid they would have to cut the house open to get you out? Remember having to crawl across the floor because you were in so much pain from everything being wrong with you… because if you want to go back to that, then by all means just give up… and go hit KFC, DQ, and BK and make yourself sick by making yourself sick. The eating out, has got to stop, the Starbucks trips for anything other than a black Americano, the bed time snacks, the skipping the gym it all has to stop.  Times are tough, but you are tougher… you  know what you want, it is time to go after it, and stick with it. Lead by example. Friends, I need you not to be enablers. Call me on things you see going wrong! You see what I post to instagram or facebook, if you see me heading off the rails, it is okay to speak up! I am asking this of you! Be a friend, not an enabler!