Walk For the Cure

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Look at all those people. Is there some sort of concert about to go on at Mall of America? Some sort of movie star or book signing? Nope! This photo was taken yesterday Feb 22, 2014 at Mall of America during the Walk to Cure Diabetes. Friday night Jen mentioned she was heading to MOA for the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes on Saturday my heart was elated to know someone walking. Many years ago my brother Rich was diagnosed as Type1 diabetic. This is the kind that you can’t fix with eating right and exercise. This is the “childhood” type, the kind where your body breaks down. (Notice a trend here with my family… our bodies fail) His pancreas crapped out and he has been on insulin since I was in middle school.
When he was diagnosed, I became a fundraising machine, I dont remeber if my first year was the inagural year for the walk, when it was actually called “the walk for the cure” or if it was the following year, but I was involved for several years. Since the JDRF is based out of the Philadelphia area it was only logical that I go to the luncheons, find out the tips and tricks for asking how to raise money and be involved with a charity that hit so close to home. I was a kid, truly I was about 12 years old and I rallied a team, wrote letters, even did the walk… which was LONG!!! Several miles if I remember, which means the “first 5k I did” with Charities Challenge and the #f2fpack was not my first, it was just another supressed memory. However I don’t think doing stuff as a kid really counts anyway. :) As I got older, it because easier to write a check, or drop my spare change in a bin than do the work to walk or raise funds for something.

So all that being said, yesterday I joined Jen and her coworkers at MoA and did the Walk to Cure diabetes. It was SO heartwarming and SO energizing to see 20,000 people there raising awareness hopeful to find a cure for diabetes. Young people, old people, moms, dads, mascots marching bands, it was a-freakin-mazing!!! I have NEVER seen anything like this. The walk I remember was nothing like this, and I don’t know if it has changed now that it has been 22 years (I can only imagine it has!)! This was amazing, truly heart warming. I texted my brother a few photos from the mall, and got a little choked up at one point as I was aout to leave, thinking about how many people want a cure, and how many things out there NEED cures, Cancer, Lupus, Alzheimers, MS, and I got a little overwhelmed. Can’t do it all, but I can do a little bit and every bit helps. Maybe I need to work on being a bit more active in the community again…

So that’s how my Saturday started out… finding 20,000 people to be thankful for… Honoring my brother by walking, and honoring myself with a walk around the mall, inside where it is warm and safe away from the bitter cold and ice. What did you do this weekend?

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Take a look around today.

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Find one beautiful thing that you have overlooked because you have been so busy or focused on something else in your life.
Do it for yourself. Take the time. You’ll appreciate the gift you are giving yourself.

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The evidence of the past lingers… Sometimes hidden, waiting to remind us… Of what I’m unsure. To be stronger, to remember where we came from, to keep dreaming of a brighter day? Whatever the reason, when you think it’s gone it shows back up. Just like these leaves that cling to the trees, that will soon (hopefully) burst with life again.

Treat Day

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I think I am blessed in a way. My job isn’t one that has “Treat day”. We don’t usually have a ton of snacks in the office. Around the holidays there are treats, I have been known to supply the office with baked good and snacks on an occasion but overall it isn’t a minefield like I hear some places are.
It is a pizza junkies dream as I have mentioned before. I would say 3 days a week or so there is delivery pizza coming into the office. With me being off gluten and dairy it isn’t even asked of me if I want to go in on a pie. … Even before I started my “No Dairy, No Wheat, No Fun” Mantra as the boys here call it I wasn’t much for ordering in except an occasional Sushi delivery, or Jimmy Johns Unwich. I usually bring my food… I don’t get a lunchbreak during my 10 hour day… so I need food that I can eat cold, I strive for things that can sit around. Hot coffee Cold water? What are those things!
One of my new employees called in today to tell me she would be stopping by the office to drop off some paperwork. I said it wasn’t necessary, to which she said she had a treat and “You should never turn down a treat”. My mind immediately went into self-hate-negative space… which it does, but I am learning to recognize, and I though, never turning down things is how I ended up the size of a house. I didn’t let myself stay in that headspace long and told Patty I would see her soon.
When Patty arrived she placed a gallon size bag of cookies on my desk… My eyes went wide like cookie monster ready to go on a binge! I immediately grabbed the bag said thanks so much! Everyone will really enjoy these, and turned to give them to my supervisor without another thought. I plopped them on his desk, without taking one. She looked upset, and I explained in a playful fun way that the guys here all say I am on the no dairy no gluten no fun diet. I said that I appreciated it but that I just couldn’t eat it.
She understood, no drama, the world didn’t end. I have spent a good bit of time thinking about this whole, treat yourself thing. I do treat myself… I treat myself by eating the foods that nourish my body. I treat myself by buying the foods that I like to eat. I treat myself by enjoying a better cup of coffee… I am sorry buy Folgers just isn’t my cup of choice. I will drink it, but I prefer something better. I am not one to blankly turn down a treat but I am one to be selective of what treats I have these days. A treat doesn’t have to be defined as food, it can be getting a new bottle of nail polish, or a new dress. It can be a trip to a new gym to try out a guest pass, or even making an extra deposit in a savings account for something bigger.
It is all about framing what you want and finding and fighting for what you want out of life. For me those cookies… they aren’t the treats I am looking for right now. Yes the looked so good, and I LOVE the thought that was behind them… but I will let everyone else in the office enjoy them, and rest more soundly knowing that I treated myself by making the choice that respected my body.
I may or may not have treated myself to a can of the new Apple-berry LaCroix fizzy water when I came home from work, and I may have even changed my dinner plans with the crockpot cooked chicken to spicy pb2 chicken and cantaloupe. I feel good about my day. The sun was out, the puddles of slop were abundant for splashing in… and now I will retire to bed… on schedule!
xoxo <3

It Brings Life…

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Friday… or maybe Saturday… I was at Starbucks of Riverside and 25th here in Minneapolis. It is a very crowded location… usually full of Somali cab drivers, hospital workers, and people in a hurry. I used to know my morning crew there by name, they knew me. They knew my order, even knew I would occasionally keep them on their toes and chance it up. With a nod Sam would start my usual when I came in that way it was ready to go by the time I was through the line.
Time has passed, he has moved on to bigger and better things. My Starbucks habit has dwindled as I have been squirreling away pennies for things like my wedding, my vacation, and moving into a better place. I make my coffee at home, with soymilk, sometimes with Torani syrups or sweetener. Its never as good… but it is coffee. I brew a pot almost every morning at work… sometimes decaf, sometimes flavored, sometimes just a dark roast. Just the smell is enough some days to put me in a better mood. Addicted… maybe a little bit… but that is what happens when you have your first solid memory of drinking coffee from a peter rabbit cup before school in second grade.
Anyway, I fought my way to a parking spot in the always crowded lot. The snowpack in the lot is severe, not that they don’t plow it’s just hard to plow around cars and the snow never stops. I smiled at a gentleman making his own parking spot, which would obscure my backing out in any normal fashion without much trouble. It’s of course okay, I try not to stress over such things anymore, too much stress over little uncontrollable by me things makes for trouble.He got out of his cab and smiled at me, much to my surprise.
I make it a habit to smile at people, it is contagious, or so I like to think. Even if someone doesn’t smile back at me, perhaps they will smile at the next person they see. He commented on what a beautiful day it was. I mentioned that I was happy that the sun was out and shining. The gentleman said that the sun is a valuable and important thing in this world and asked if I knew why. I paused for half a second hopped over a snow-booger and said of course! The sun is life, it brings life, and warmth and joy to so many things. He told me I was very wise, then insisted even though I was trying to hold the door for him that I go first.
I’ve been thinking on this all day, as we sit here being pelted by yet another snow storm. The cold weather and grey/white sky is killing spirits. I miss the sun, the warmth, the life it brings. I miss my Saturday morning trips to the farmers markets, and while I will soon be miserable from my allergies I miss the flowers. I bought a bouquet of tulips on Sunday afternoon and left them in the cart at Trader Joes with a note that said Have a Happy Day.
The Sun brings life, but so do small kindnesses. Holding doors, conversations with strangers, random acts of kindness. Forgiveness of those who have wronged us, forgiveness of ourselves for wrongdoings. Be gentle with yourself, be kind to one another. It is said time and again that we are all fighting a battle, and we may never know another persons struggle. I suppose I am getting soft in my “old age” and by soft I simply mean wiser and more aware. More aware of everything. Living within my heart, being more in-tune to the hum of the universe, listening to what my body asks of me.
All the pieces that I try and work on individually, all the pieces that don’t fit, they all hum together… and the sun… it will awaken everything… eventually.

Focus

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So, 2014 is underway… I look at my blog and I have FOUR blogs that I started, and never got back to… Do I lack focus on my blog? Possibly… more specifically I have been reaching out microblogging with my instagram account (Do you follow me over there? my name is KrisGetsHealthy) 2014 the year of Honor, honoring myself, my choices… making sure I am focusing on what I need to do to set my lifestyle up for those sustainable changes we need to make to have a lifestyle stick.

Since I took my new job back at the end of 2011/beginning of 2012 I have had an increase in my bottom line… meaning my rear end… not cool! My focus has been to try and make my life, that WAS working to get my weight down, work with my new 10 hour days of high stress near non-stop desk work.

I found that looking at the big picture was SO overwhelming, in as much as it wasn’t working. You can’t manage everything at once. There is too much to control! I have taken to breaking it down into more manageable parts and I have been trying to establish each part into it’s own manageable little bubble.

The first thing I worked on was to establish a bedtime routine… in my job I need to be sharp, I need to look at the bigger picture, visualize traffic patterns for the time of day, cross reference with the general layout of the state/city in my mind, estimate recovery times from airports, think critically etc etc etc… Dealing with brain fog from fibromyalgia is bad enough some days, add a lack of sleep and my goodness a lack of sleep spirals my brain into a VERY messy place!

I have a fairly strict bedtime that I keep. I am slightly more flexible on the weekend, but not every weekend… and if I do it one day I try to keep the regular bedtime the next. (for example if I am up Friday night, then Saturday night I don’t usually stay up). I sleep with headphones on, (sleepphones actually) that I can pull down over my eyes and use as a blackout mask. This is not to say that I don’t have insomnia come visit me on occasion… I have melatonin and a few herbal sleep support things I can take. There is this awesome thing called Sleep Water that I drink on occasion that helps too. My sleep routine is, I would say, pretty well established, it is a habit. A healthy living lifestyle habit. People that tell me they get 4 hours or 5 hours a night on a regular basis and can’t figure out why they aren’t feeling well, or can’t do X (whether that is focus, or be on time, or lose weight, or whatever) I just want to grab and shake… sleep is a foundational element.

So now that I have that habit well established I am looking at what are the bigger holes in my life… what are the things that are SO IMPORTANT to health, and wellness and well being, that I just don’t have a handle on. One of the things that happens with my job being so busy is that I forget to drink..not just water, but anything… So many night I would come home from work and find that I had only had a cup of coffee in the morning, and then whatever I was drinking with dinner! How horrible for my body!! I took to taking a 3 liter bottle of water with me to work, and I’d work to drink that during the day. I did pretty good with that, since it was in my line of sight most of the day. Having something visually there means I can’t avoid it, I can’t ignore it. However ambient water gets old… it started cold in the morning but by the end of my 10 hour shift it wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. What is a girl to do… if I don’t see it I wont drink it.

The last few weeks I have been having great success at monitoring my water intake with an app from the iPhone marketplace called Plant Nanny… it lets you set reminders to “water your plant and water yourself.” You set your weight, your activity level and it tells you how much water your body needs. I am set to sedentary since I have a desk job, and since even when I hit the gym it isn’t much activity… it would put me at normal at most. The default reminders you can set are every 2 hours between 8am and 10pm, I have mine set to start at 0400 and run till 0500 reminding me every hour to drink. Even if I don’t go get a drink right away when the little alert pops up it at least puts the idea in my head that I need to be hydrating my body. I need to make drinking a routine that comes as naturally to me as going to bed. I need to focus on hydrating my cells, pushing toxins out of my body, and helping my body learn that perhaps what I felt as hunger is thirst, or a combination of both.

So here I am bringing my #Focus to one thing at a time. I can’t do everything, I am spread so thin at work trying to control everything that I am glad to be finding a balance and being able to pick and choose one healthy goal to focus on here in my everyday healthy life. Finding the focus and determination not to give up. Honoring my body by making sure that I am establishing some kind of healthy routine, and making sure that I am putting it into place. The more you do something the more ingrained it becomes.

Do you track your water or do you find it’s just one more thing to try and keep track of? How much sleep do you get a night? Do you try to get 8 hours? What kinds of healthy living routines do you focus on in your life?

Four letter F word…

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    FEAR

    Never let your fear decide your fate.

    So picture this… It’s dark outside, my eyes are fuzzy… the bed is warm and there are TONS of things to watch on Netflix now that I have my Roku and DVD player hooked up from Christmas. Maybe I’ll just stay in bed a little longer. … My mind drifts to the fact that I posted to instagram that I was going to the gym this weekend. The earlier I go, the sooner I am done. The later I go the more crowded the gym will be, the less likely I am to find a parking spot, the more likely I am to just pull in circle the lot and then head to the movie theater and hide out in the dark all morning.

    I didn’t plan very well, I had to replace my lock the last time I went to the gym, I bought a cheap $2.00 one at the drug store, and I don’t know what the combination is for it… so no lock… I also cannot find one of my gym shoes. Here in Minnesota the land of 10,000 lakes, and 100,000 puddles this weekend (thanks to the polar vortex moving away!!) I find it best to just have 2 sets of shoes, one for the gym and one for everything else. Some gyms require that you have a set of shoes for the machines. (the salt/gravel/etc is bad for them, anyway). I couldn’t find my shoe, and I figured the hell with it I am staying in bed.

    Robb was seeing my frustration and helped me find my missing shoe, he had been getting ready to sleep as I was stomping around looking for my stuff. Why didn’t I pack the night before? Well I was out late, honoring my friendships with quality bonding time with some very dear ladies. So I made the trek off to the gym…

    I parked… the lot was full-ish, not nearly as full as I have seen it, the upper lot had plenty of open spaces, and I found one that looked to be as safe as anything else. I try to find spots that allow me to have good footing and a relatively clear path from ice/snow the ehlers-danlos makes my joints all wibbly-wobbly and the last thing I need is to fall. I sat in the car for a minute or two, seemed like forever. I grabbed my bad and walked toward the door of the gym.

    As I crossed the lot… there was the 4-letter word. I neared the door and the panic set in… What if I couldn’t work out as long as I wanted to? What if people were judging me based on how fast I was walking? What if I couldn’t do it? I knew I was not going to be anywhere near in the shape I had been. There are a hundred reasons why I haven’t been to the gym, my mind went to the levaquin and snapping tendon fears came flooding in. What if its been so long my membership isn’t valid anymore?

    I shook my head and shifted my thoughts into a better place, I remembered that this is about honoring myself, being honest with myself. I grabbed the door pushed my way through it, they scanned my card said welcome back and that was it, I was in the gym. I started on the treadmill, walked a while, not as long as I wanted to. I felt the pain in my foot from the PF that plagues me, as soon as I felt it I remembered why I stopped working out in the gym. I finished up my segment and decided I was not quitting. I wanted to leave with a positive feeling. I made my way to the recumbent elliptical, which may be my favorite piece of gym equipment that I have tried so far. I saw there is a new lateral running type machine I want to try but I need to get my stamina back first. Sadly one of the things EDSers deal with is the even more rapid regression of muscle tone. I pushed through about 2 miles in somewhere around 11 minutes and then I was done and I was okay with that. I had spent the time that I was on the machines thinking about my fear, thinking about why I was afraid and that in the end it is all controllable.

    This morning I got up, later than usual, but before the “get up or else” alarm and trudged off to the gym with my New Years present padded bike shorts. I have some serious pain sitting on the bike, but its good for my hip, it helps rebuild the range of motion that I lost from the 3 surgeries I had, and it has to be good for my knee too from the lateral and medial meniscal tears. Its a non-impact activity, something I need more of. I knocked out 25 minutes on the bike before changing gears, or rather machines for a 30 min cooldown. I didn’t want to go to the gym this morning, my abs hurt! A reminder that there are muscles under there, clearly from the elliptical, keeping my core engaged properly, go me!

    I fueled my body after my workout with an apple, a black Americano and 2 hardboiled eggs. I really wanted to go out for breakfast but the no dairy and no gluten thing makes it really hard to just grab something somewhere. I used to hit Panera Bread for an after workout breakfast, (Their hidden menu is awesome! and I believe it has been unhidden finally). I headed to Lunds (a local grocery store) that has Driscoll’s Strawberries 2/$5.50 right now and blueberries on sale too. I picked up a few Opal Apples which are super hard to find, but I really like them some zucchini and I got a few other bits and bobs there too. Next I headed to Target and grabbed some other things, chicken breasts, lean ground beef, frozen veggies, it was a productive quick trip, shopping the outer isles makes it so much faster.

    The afternoon has been a lot of meal prep, and stretching. My body, I believe, thinks that it is being punished right now. It is sore all over, super achy. I am dealing with it, I have the electric blanket turned on, and the fan blowing on me to cool me off. I am reminding myself that the choices I am making are to honor my body. It isn’t being tortured, or punished, As I stretch, and roll my body I speak gently to myself that the pain is temporary, that it is a gift, a reward for finally being healthy and strong enough to fact the challenge that this day brings.

    Each day brings a new set of circumstances that we cannot control, we can push through them with the skills and tolls we each have. We can work to adapt and try and teach ourselves and bodies to keep fighting, but I’ve learned I must do so gently. I am trying to live more from my heart these days. Being honest with myself about my feelings, my intuition. It all starts from inside. So dear body, thank you for letting me push you, bending but not breaking. I will continue to nourish you in the way you have told me you need. We do need to co-exist afterall. Mind and body. We just cant the that f-word be running us both ragged.

    Honor

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    So the end of 2013 left me with a lot of things on my mind. I was being pushed by a few people about my beliefs regarding my gluten free and dairy free lifestyle choice, and testing to see if these were in-fact actual issues for me. The truth is, I am not going to pursue the expense of medical testing for these things. There has been enough evidence about wheat/gluten being linked to fibromyalgia and I have felt a significant enough change in my body since giving it up that I KNOW i have an intolerance to it.

    As far as the dairy issues… I miss cheese, and yogurt, and cheese. Did I mention cheese? I have been sick since giving up dairy, however I got better much faster than I usually do. I don’t have any basis for my observation on this other than without things like yogurt, cheese, ice cream, milk, butter and other dairy products I got better quicker. There are some substitutes out there that have proven to be helpful for me in the transition. Things like Amy’s frozen meals that are Gluten Free and Dairy free for the nights and lunches that I just can’t find time to make… (they have a gluten free dairy free Mac & cheese that is just awesome that is made with Daiya Cheese), Daiya cheese which melts and stretches, I’ve not eaten it straight but the cheddar shreds are great on chili, and I had a bit of the Provolone style slices on a turkey sandwich, it isn’t the same but nothing will be. Their frozen pizza is nice as well. Of course there are about 100 kinds of milk substitutes out there, currently I have light silk vanilla soy-milk and unsweetened almond/coconut blend in my fridge.

    So challenge me if you will, I am not going to be re-adding them back into my diet to “see how they make me feel” I had a few bites of something that had some wheat flour in it on accident about a week ago, and I just didn’t feel well after it. I have actual food allergies to walnuts, scratchy throat etc that gets worse with each exposure, I’m not out there adding them in seeing how I do… I have intolerances to alcohol, it makes me uncomfortable to drink. I get red-faced and covered in rashes that itch and burn after I drink pretty much any alcohol. I am not out imbibing, it is very rare that I drink any alcohol because it is a visceral reaction, and it is genetic. I may choose to have something containing wheat or dairy on a special occasion, like say I am on vacation, or something is truly so good that I want to try it but that will be my decision. I will continue to bring my own food to holiday gatherings, I appreciate people trying to accommodate my dietary needs, but it is easier in my mind to just take care of myself. I don’t like to inconvenience others, whether it actually is or isn’t I need to have control over by body and what I am putting into it.

    This brings me to 2014… the year without a resolution. Well not exactly. I guess I am jumping on the trendy bandwagon this year and giving up an actual resolution. Not that I really do resolutions, the trend among my friends this year is to choose a word or theme for your year. As soon as I heard of this, it took about two seconds to decide that my word was going to be honor. A word so powerful so transient so befitting what I want.

    Honor

    Honor: (noun): high respect; esteem. a privilege. (verb): regard with great respect. fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement)

    I will Honor myself in the choices that I make
    I will be making choices that Honor my body
    I will be Honoring my mind as I seek to live more through my heart and less through my mind
    I will Honor my true spirit by following my passions for creativity and youthful exuberance.
    I will Honor my family and friends with the decisions that I make, honor their values, honor their wishes however I will work to continue to honor my needs first.
    I will Honor the place that I was in my life, and the place that I am now, and realize that everything is temporary, including setbacks.
    I will Honor those around me with acts of kindness and compassion because the world needs more understanding.

    It will not be easy, but I think it is important for me to be looking each day for how I am honoring myself. Choosing to stick to my guns about no gluten and no dairy is one way I am honoring myself. Choosing not to go out in the cold this weekend, while keeping me from the gym is not honoring my body choosing water over more coffee is. Walking in place as I watch Netflix is also honoring myself more than just sitting on the bed. It is all a matter of perspective I suppose.

    Do you have a resolution for the year? Have you heard about picking a word for the year? Have you picked a word? Pick one! Tell me what it is, or how you plan to apply it to your life I would love to hear about it, either in a comment or link me to your blog!